Category: Song of Solomon

Love is a great gift from God.  The love between parents and the children, the love of brothers and sisters, the love of friends.  God gave us a special gift when He gave us the love of a husband for his wife and a wife for her husband.

This love flourishes within God’s guidelines.

• Man and woman
• Exclusive
• Reserved for covenant of marriage
• Self-sacrificing
• For a lifetime

For this love to function best, it must be practiced God’s way.  1 Corinthians 13 helps us understand what that looks like:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Jesus showed us how to love like that through His life on earth.  It is a selfless love that prioritizes the other person.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  Philippians 2:5-7

If you’re married, work today on loving your spouse like that.  If you’re not, ask God to grow His love in you.

By: Tim Parsons — Lead Pastor

As Tim started in Song of Solomon 1, “Well here we go…”

Previously, in the courtship of our couple we have read the excellent advice, not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Then in chapter 4, we turned on some Barry Manilow, lit a candle, and poured a flute of sparkling grape juice because the time had arrived.

As we step into chapter 7, we understand that some time has passed. This couple has some miles on the tires. They aren’t newlyweds anymore. And, for those of us who have been married more than a few months, there is a whole lot to learn in this passage.

First, notice that for the first time in the Song of Solomon the man is not starting at the head. He’s starting with his bride’s feet. For newlyweds, intimacy starts with a good make out session, but as you get older, you’re not lighting any fires without a foot rub. But seriously though, notice the tour this man takes of his wife’s body.

This is a slow, methodical approach of complimenting his aging wife’s body. Husbands, we need to remind our brides that we find them beautiful. The act of sex does not necessarily communicate the admiration you have for your wife’s features. As a woman’s body changes with time and kids, we must be proactive in telling our bride that she is lovely. Your shared experiences play a role in that change and the mother of your children should not have to wonder if you still find her attractive.  She must feel deeply the words of this bride, “I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” (10)

Second, there are a few words in this brief passage that we refer to as “hapax-legominon.” It’s a fun word you can use at parties meaning that this word only appears once in scripture. As you might imagine, there’s not a whole lot of scripture referring to “thighs” and “navels.” These words only appear here and the exact meaning isn’t clear. However, this scene and these words represent what you might call “extreme intimacy.” These are areas that God has designated only for a spouse.

This husband is complimenting his wife in intimate detail. He speaks gently and lovingly to her, and she responds with passion (11–13). It’s hard to imagine, but there are some men out there who are only gentle, loving, and complimentary when they want something from their wife. Although the man’s approach had a welcomed result, it’s not manipulative or coercive.

In conclusion, intimacy and time are connected. Time can kill intimacy if you’re not careful. If your focus is on your own gratification, time has a way of eroding those things over which you formerly lusted. However, with a proper perspective and a little effort, intimacy gets better with age.

To illustrate this point, think of a cast iron skillet. Cast iron requires a process for seasoning. Then each time you use it, you must clean it without using detergent, heat it until it’s dry, apply a thin layer of oil, and heat it past it’s smoking point so the oil doesn’t turn rancid. Why go through the trouble when I can just use a non-stick pan? Because with a little care and attention cast iron gets better and better with age. Cast iron cooks better, the food you cook tastes better, and it’s strong enough that it can be passed down to your kids.

Your marriage shouldn’t look like a cheap, thin pan from Walmart. It should smoke like steak in cast iron! It just takes a little extra effort.

By: Tyler Short — Connections Ministry Associate

I will be using Daniel Akin’s Christ-Centered Exposition: Exalting Jesus in Song of Songs to help write this commentary.

Chapter 6 is a great illustration of how both husband and wife play a huge role in maintaining a healthy marriage. The previous chapter talked about reconciliation after a fight. In this chapter, things are going really well and they know that it will require work to keep it that way. Both the man and women give really good examples of how to keep a healthy relationship. They do and say the right things and really connect with each other.

The wife:

She began using her words to complement him at the end of chapter 5, but she begins using her actions to complement what she has already said. 

She studies his actions. She does this not in a creepy kind of stalking way, but instead it is a, “I want to know my husband so that I can be one with him.” She studies him to know him.

She also welcomes his advances. The garden she is referring to is believed to not be a physical garden, but instead a metaphor about their love making. She says, “I am my lover’s and my lover is mine. He browses among the lilies.” She knows that sex is important to her husband and because of that it is also important to her.  She knows this because she studies her husband.

The husband:

The husband responds with words of affirmation. Telling her how beautiful (verse 4), irresistible (verse 5), and special (verses 8-10) she is to him. 

This chapter shows a healthy balance of words and actions that shows how to maintain a healthy marriage. I know this is an area in my life where I need to improve. Sometimes I tell my wife how great she is, but never use actions to show that. Sometimes I do the opposite and do all of these things, but never tell her how beautiful she looks today or how special she is to me.

To singles: Are you lifting up those around you through your words and actions? Are you creating habits of building others up or tearing others down through your words?

To those dating: Are your words uplifting to your partner? Is there a balance of words and actions to show how much you care?

To those who are married: Are you taking the time to study your partner and intentionally creating intimate conversations? Are you balancing your words and actions to show your affection? 

By: Jacob Kerr — West Campus Pastoral Ministry Apprentice: Worship & Students

Well, I am glad we are talking about Song of Solomon finally, because I have so much marriage advice to give to so many people. I have pretty much figured this marriage thing out in the time that I have been married (3 months).  

In our passage today, it seems as if the woman is having a dream. Notice in verse 2 she says, “I slept, but my heart was awake”. In her dream, her beloved is standing at the door knocking and asking to be let in (v. 2b). She is excited to open the door and see her beloved (v. 3-5), but he is gone when she opens the door (v. 6). She seeks after him and does not find him. Then, the watchmen find her and beat her (v. 7). This dream seems to be more of a nightmare and a response that maybe the woman is afraid of public hostility towards their relationship or she is pursuing someone who might not want her. Then, in verse 9, the “others” ask how the man is compared to others. The woman responds (v. 10-16) with adoration towards the man, thus showing her desire for him. 

A couple of takeaways from this passage: honor your spouse with your words. The woman is in awe of the man and she speaks of him in high honor. For married couples, we need to put our spouse before anyone else in our life. We should be in awe and astonishment of them because of our love for them. And when we do that, we should be praising God for the gift that He has given us. For those who are not yet married, look for someone who adores you as this woman adores the man in verses 10-16. If they admire you like this then they will admire God even more, and that is what you want, someone who loves God first and then you second. 

By: Brice Stockton — Student Ministry Apprentice